BTW

stop reading. tis sucky
here you go

http://msbrightsidee.wordpress.com/

YAYAYYA

im like a bird.

only not at all.
Good bye blogger.
you can S my D.
HAAA
hello wordpress.

So come out of your cave walking on your hands And see the world hanging upside down.

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

I'm sorry.

Yupp. I am a douche bag. I really suck at thinking about other peoples feelings sometimes. Ive tried to fix that. But i just fail. Im strong minded and entirely open about my opinions....even when my opinions hurt people i care about. But i never meant to hurt anyone. I talk to much and im generally over confident which would make my opinion even more annoying. I almost feel i should delete this blog just because i know its not helping me. My goal to not post anything to personal has failed me. Im sure some of you have guessed my point. So im just going to get there. I do not have a problem with anyone who believes in or follows any religion. I realize that this may have been (and by may i mean entirely was) what it seemed like. I had some pretty out there posts. But i never meant them to seem like i had a problem with anyone religious or likewise. I entirely support religion and find it incredibly interesting to learn about. (which is pretty much the point of those posts) Religion is just not something i understand or want to pursue personally. My mind cant accept it. But if yours does i have nothing against it. Ive tried to bring it into my life countless times but its just not me. I realize it would probably lead to me becoming a better person and to me embracing a part of me that could do great things. But once again i say. its just not who i am. and thats why im apologizing. Im apologizing because im sorry that words i wrote hurt you and changed your opinion of me and because im sorry that i cant learn to be the better person you see me being. But im ready to fully accept you and im sorry that i was too hurt to see the stupidity in myself. Truly id just like to sit down and have a conversation with you. But i dont see that ever being something you want to do. I cant believe i ever let something get between me and a friend i truly care about. I dont even know why im writing this. Cause once again its 2 in the morning and i seem to regret posts i write when im supposed to be sleeping. But its something that needs to be said cause i dont know if i can deal with this any longer. Even though i know i have brought this on myself... This post didnt need to be that long... pretty much my point is i miss having you around.

We all know what pan does when shes lazy.

I say hey I'll be gone today
But I'll be back all around the way
It seems like everywhere I go
The more I see
the less I know
But I know one thing
That I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you

I’ve been a lot of places all around the way
I’ve seen a lot joy and I’ve seen a lot of pain
but I don’t want to write a love song for the world,
I just want to write a song about a boy and a girl
Junkies on the corner always calling my name
And the kids on the corner playing ghetto games
When I saw you getting down well I hoped it was you
And when I looked into your eyes I knew it was true
I say Hey I'll be gone today
But I'll be back all around the way
It seems like everywhere I go
The more I see
the less I know
But I know one thing
That I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you

Now I’m not a highly metaphysical man
But I know when the stars are aligned you can
bump into person in the middle of the road
look into their eyes and you suddenly know
Rocking in the dance hall moving with you
Dancing in the night in the middle of June
My momma told me don’t lose you
‘cause the best luck I had was you
I said Hey I'll be gone today
But I'll be back all around the way
It seems like everywhere I go
The more I see the less I know
But I know one thing
That I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you

And I said rocking in the dance hall moving with you
I said Hey momma hey momma close to you
Rocking in the dance hall moving with you
I said hey papa, hey papa close to you
Rocking in the dance hall moving with you
I said Hey Momma close to you
Rocking in the dance hall moving with you I said
hey momma, hey momma, hey momma, hey momma
hey momma, hey momma, hey momma, hey momma
what you gonna do?

My momma told me don’t lose you
Cause the best luck I had was you
And I know one thing that I love you
I said hey I'll be gone today
but I’ll be back all around the way
It seems like everywhere I go
The more I see the less I know
I said hey I'll be gone today
but I’ll be back all around the way
It seems like everywhere I go
The more I see the less I know
But I know one thing that I love you

Dont you rain on my parade. :)

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

- Groucho Marx

What exactly is happiness and how can we find it? Though it is defined as the condition of being content, the concept of happiness is still vague. Happiness is often thought of as having a lot of money, love, or power. In short getting everything you want and more. But can these things actually make people happy? Happiness, which is often assumed of as a fairly simple concept, is actually more than what people think of it. Although this natural emotion is desired by many, it is very obscure and therefore, for most, extremely difficult to find. It can be mysterious and elusive. Sought for, but often not found. Everybody desires to be happy. It is essential to our health and well-being. Happiness, though intangible, is one of the most important aspects in an individual’s existence. So why not be happy? Most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be. So why does it have to be so complicated. Humans look at it from the wrong angle. They see it as something to search for instead of realizing it is something they are capable of. Notice that the glass is always half full. Happiness is something we all hold in the palm of our hands.

Fuck you, Fuck you Very, Very much! :)

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
you make me laugh. So im pretty much stoked. Like, of course im not happy with the fact buuuut. Yeah. Ok. So my dads crack whore (notice lack of caps, ever, cause shes a WHORE) A BIG ONE. has apparently moved to New Zealand with my ever loving (not) faj. So, we have known this was a possibility. But truely we thought it was more likely that she was living in PG.
But nooope. SO pretty much me and my brother are planning murder. Of course not litterally. Some quotes from this convo go like this:
Paul: "So, mom, if i come back from NZ with a criminal record would that be a bad thing?"
Mom: "Yes. Even though it does sound like fun." i laughed forever.
BHAAAA
yeah. so i plan on never really referring to her as any thing that is even slightly not bitchy.
possible nicknames include bitch, whore, possibly cunt? just cause i love my brother. Now. Truely at first i was in that hell yes mood. and im stoked to pwn her. just cause. and to get her to make me mince pies alll theee timmmeee. and cut off her hair in her sleep. and
you know put rat poison in her crack. replace her cocaine with icing sugar. you know how it is.
I truely dont understnad how you could ever do that to anyone? What she did to us? I dont know how she lives with her self. Shes idiotic. And very very very lucky. That she has mangaed to avoid me for this long. I used to see her all the time. And really ...i wonder why? oh hey crack whore wanna have sex with me while my kids wait in the car?? ohhh suure fuck tard. sounds like fun. I want to beat her face in so bad. so bad. like to a pulp. and truely. these feelings are not uncalled for at all.

And ok. So fuck tard. Im gonna rant here. the more i rant the easier it will be to actually tell you that i dont think i can ever forgive you for what you did to me? what was all this bull shit you tried to give me how many years ago? yeah, "we and your moms have our problems, but well always be a family" BULLSHIT. we wernt even a family there. The only reason you could deal with being home is because there was something to clean. which means you could ignore us. and all those times you lied? yeah. i know about many. and the rest (which are prolly much more plentiful) i can guess that they are prolly worse. OH and yeah. I dont care if i never had a proper father. But wog needed you. He still needs you. I so wished you had at least tried. And no, giving him a beer at the river bank when hes 8 isnt trying. Not including him in anything you do isnt trying. One of your best friends is being a better dad to him then you ever were. and all he had to do is get him to help with the stupid business that you wouldnt leave to him. Cause youre a tard. and actually wait when im on this i am going to rant. Its your fault that i cant deal with sad feelings adn its your fault that i feel i need to be loved by everyone. And maybe thats why i always loved you more. Cause you didnt love me and i felt i had to try extra hard so you would show any form of fatherly feelings. Mommy gave me all i could ask for. All the love in the world. But she wasnt the challenge you were. Everyday id try to get a hug. Just a hug. I remember when you would get mad ta me for that. Just causee i wanted a hug? cause youre my father? or you are supposed to be... But this only made me try harder. I loved to complain about my legs hurting cause then you would carry me around on your shoulders. You rlove menat so much more to me. I see now its cause there wasnt really any there. and im ok with that. i can deal. but i kno wim better then that whore. so why dont you see that too?? and so i can say i hope the sand and thee booze is treating you well.



oh and.

Look inside,
Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we're so uninspired,
so sick and tired of all the
hatred you harbor

So you say
It's not okay to be gay
Well I think you're just evil
You're just some racist who
can't tie my laces
Your point of view is medieval

Fuck you (Fuck you)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Do you get,
Do you get a little kick out of
being slow minded?
You want to be like your father
It's approval your after
Well that's not how you find it

Do you,
Do you really enjoy living a
life that's so hateful?
Cause there's a hole where
your soul should be
Your losing control of it and
it's really distasteful

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't
translate and it's getting
quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you,
Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you,
Fuck yooooou

You say
You think we need to go to war
well you're already in one
Cause it's people like you
who need to get slew
No one wants your opinion

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't
translate and it's getting
quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you, Fuck you
Fuck you, Fuck you
Fuck you, Fuck you

...i love you.