BTW

stop reading. tis sucky
here you go

http://msbrightsidee.wordpress.com/

YAYAYYA

im like a bird.

only not at all.
Good bye blogger.
you can S my D.
HAAA
hello wordpress.

So come out of your cave walking on your hands And see the world hanging upside down.

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

I'm sorry.

Yupp. I am a douche bag. I really suck at thinking about other peoples feelings sometimes. Ive tried to fix that. But i just fail. Im strong minded and entirely open about my opinions....even when my opinions hurt people i care about. But i never meant to hurt anyone. I talk to much and im generally over confident which would make my opinion even more annoying. I almost feel i should delete this blog just because i know its not helping me. My goal to not post anything to personal has failed me. Im sure some of you have guessed my point. So im just going to get there. I do not have a problem with anyone who believes in or follows any religion. I realize that this may have been (and by may i mean entirely was) what it seemed like. I had some pretty out there posts. But i never meant them to seem like i had a problem with anyone religious or likewise. I entirely support religion and find it incredibly interesting to learn about. (which is pretty much the point of those posts) Religion is just not something i understand or want to pursue personally. My mind cant accept it. But if yours does i have nothing against it. Ive tried to bring it into my life countless times but its just not me. I realize it would probably lead to me becoming a better person and to me embracing a part of me that could do great things. But once again i say. its just not who i am. and thats why im apologizing. Im apologizing because im sorry that words i wrote hurt you and changed your opinion of me and because im sorry that i cant learn to be the better person you see me being. But im ready to fully accept you and im sorry that i was too hurt to see the stupidity in myself. Truly id just like to sit down and have a conversation with you. But i dont see that ever being something you want to do. I cant believe i ever let something get between me and a friend i truly care about. I dont even know why im writing this. Cause once again its 2 in the morning and i seem to regret posts i write when im supposed to be sleeping. But its something that needs to be said cause i dont know if i can deal with this any longer. Even though i know i have brought this on myself... This post didnt need to be that long... pretty much my point is i miss having you around.

We all know what pan does when shes lazy.

I say hey I'll be gone today
But I'll be back all around the way
It seems like everywhere I go
The more I see
the less I know
But I know one thing
That I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you

I’ve been a lot of places all around the way
I’ve seen a lot joy and I’ve seen a lot of pain
but I don’t want to write a love song for the world,
I just want to write a song about a boy and a girl
Junkies on the corner always calling my name
And the kids on the corner playing ghetto games
When I saw you getting down well I hoped it was you
And when I looked into your eyes I knew it was true
I say Hey I'll be gone today
But I'll be back all around the way
It seems like everywhere I go
The more I see
the less I know
But I know one thing
That I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you

Now I’m not a highly metaphysical man
But I know when the stars are aligned you can
bump into person in the middle of the road
look into their eyes and you suddenly know
Rocking in the dance hall moving with you
Dancing in the night in the middle of June
My momma told me don’t lose you
‘cause the best luck I had was you
I said Hey I'll be gone today
But I'll be back all around the way
It seems like everywhere I go
The more I see the less I know
But I know one thing
That I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you

And I said rocking in the dance hall moving with you
I said Hey momma hey momma close to you
Rocking in the dance hall moving with you
I said hey papa, hey papa close to you
Rocking in the dance hall moving with you
I said Hey Momma close to you
Rocking in the dance hall moving with you I said
hey momma, hey momma, hey momma, hey momma
hey momma, hey momma, hey momma, hey momma
what you gonna do?

My momma told me don’t lose you
Cause the best luck I had was you
And I know one thing that I love you
I said hey I'll be gone today
but I’ll be back all around the way
It seems like everywhere I go
The more I see the less I know
I said hey I'll be gone today
but I’ll be back all around the way
It seems like everywhere I go
The more I see the less I know
But I know one thing that I love you

Dont you rain on my parade. :)

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

- Groucho Marx

What exactly is happiness and how can we find it? Though it is defined as the condition of being content, the concept of happiness is still vague. Happiness is often thought of as having a lot of money, love, or power. In short getting everything you want and more. But can these things actually make people happy? Happiness, which is often assumed of as a fairly simple concept, is actually more than what people think of it. Although this natural emotion is desired by many, it is very obscure and therefore, for most, extremely difficult to find. It can be mysterious and elusive. Sought for, but often not found. Everybody desires to be happy. It is essential to our health and well-being. Happiness, though intangible, is one of the most important aspects in an individual’s existence. So why not be happy? Most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be. So why does it have to be so complicated. Humans look at it from the wrong angle. They see it as something to search for instead of realizing it is something they are capable of. Notice that the glass is always half full. Happiness is something we all hold in the palm of our hands.

Fuck you, Fuck you Very, Very much! :)

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
you make me laugh. So im pretty much stoked. Like, of course im not happy with the fact buuuut. Yeah. Ok. So my dads crack whore (notice lack of caps, ever, cause shes a WHORE) A BIG ONE. has apparently moved to New Zealand with my ever loving (not) faj. So, we have known this was a possibility. But truely we thought it was more likely that she was living in PG.
But nooope. SO pretty much me and my brother are planning murder. Of course not litterally. Some quotes from this convo go like this:
Paul: "So, mom, if i come back from NZ with a criminal record would that be a bad thing?"
Mom: "Yes. Even though it does sound like fun." i laughed forever.
BHAAAA
yeah. so i plan on never really referring to her as any thing that is even slightly not bitchy.
possible nicknames include bitch, whore, possibly cunt? just cause i love my brother. Now. Truely at first i was in that hell yes mood. and im stoked to pwn her. just cause. and to get her to make me mince pies alll theee timmmeee. and cut off her hair in her sleep. and
you know put rat poison in her crack. replace her cocaine with icing sugar. you know how it is.
I truely dont understnad how you could ever do that to anyone? What she did to us? I dont know how she lives with her self. Shes idiotic. And very very very lucky. That she has mangaed to avoid me for this long. I used to see her all the time. And really ...i wonder why? oh hey crack whore wanna have sex with me while my kids wait in the car?? ohhh suure fuck tard. sounds like fun. I want to beat her face in so bad. so bad. like to a pulp. and truely. these feelings are not uncalled for at all.

And ok. So fuck tard. Im gonna rant here. the more i rant the easier it will be to actually tell you that i dont think i can ever forgive you for what you did to me? what was all this bull shit you tried to give me how many years ago? yeah, "we and your moms have our problems, but well always be a family" BULLSHIT. we wernt even a family there. The only reason you could deal with being home is because there was something to clean. which means you could ignore us. and all those times you lied? yeah. i know about many. and the rest (which are prolly much more plentiful) i can guess that they are prolly worse. OH and yeah. I dont care if i never had a proper father. But wog needed you. He still needs you. I so wished you had at least tried. And no, giving him a beer at the river bank when hes 8 isnt trying. Not including him in anything you do isnt trying. One of your best friends is being a better dad to him then you ever were. and all he had to do is get him to help with the stupid business that you wouldnt leave to him. Cause youre a tard. and actually wait when im on this i am going to rant. Its your fault that i cant deal with sad feelings adn its your fault that i feel i need to be loved by everyone. And maybe thats why i always loved you more. Cause you didnt love me and i felt i had to try extra hard so you would show any form of fatherly feelings. Mommy gave me all i could ask for. All the love in the world. But she wasnt the challenge you were. Everyday id try to get a hug. Just a hug. I remember when you would get mad ta me for that. Just causee i wanted a hug? cause youre my father? or you are supposed to be... But this only made me try harder. I loved to complain about my legs hurting cause then you would carry me around on your shoulders. You rlove menat so much more to me. I see now its cause there wasnt really any there. and im ok with that. i can deal. but i kno wim better then that whore. so why dont you see that too?? and so i can say i hope the sand and thee booze is treating you well.



oh and.

Look inside,
Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we're so uninspired,
so sick and tired of all the
hatred you harbor

So you say
It's not okay to be gay
Well I think you're just evil
You're just some racist who
can't tie my laces
Your point of view is medieval

Fuck you (Fuck you)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Do you get,
Do you get a little kick out of
being slow minded?
You want to be like your father
It's approval your after
Well that's not how you find it

Do you,
Do you really enjoy living a
life that's so hateful?
Cause there's a hole where
your soul should be
Your losing control of it and
it's really distasteful

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't
translate and it's getting
quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you,
Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you,
Fuck yooooou

You say
You think we need to go to war
well you're already in one
Cause it's people like you
who need to get slew
No one wants your opinion

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't
translate and it's getting
quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you, Fuck you
Fuck you, Fuck you
Fuck you, Fuck you

...i love you.

I keep trying to sleep but its really not working for me.

How am i finding these?
ANYWHO. As i was saying before......
Why is god so superior? I never truely understood that fact. Everyones like well he did this and this and this. But really, why is that so impressive? Like, i have nothing against it, and feel free to enlighten me. But why is it so impressive? They have kinda proved the whole he created everything theory wrong. Like maybe he did create the earth but the fact that he created everything on earth has so much proof going against it. Like come on. I implore you to see reason.(sorry harry potter quote) Like even my crazy catholic teacher got over that fact he had some odd theory that mixed evolution and the story of creation together in a way that made sense. I supported that. Other then that we all praise him because he sent his son to die for our sins? But how exactly did he release us from our sins by dieing.? I appreciate it and all. But im just not really sure how i benefit. Maybe i missed this day in school. And once again i say feel free to enlighten me. I just dont understand. Cause reall yeah ok sure he sent his son to die for our sins. But isnt every second father in America doing that right now? Their sons are fighting in Afghanistan and such to release the states from sin. Cause isnt that what killing people for oil is considered? yeah i duunno. maybe these men deserve more praise. I applaud them. :)



And then theres the fact that we do all this so we wont get sent strait to hell. But you see that confuses me. Why are we avoiding hell again? Yes, ok heaven is supposed to be perfect. But ive never really had a thing for perfect. And the idea of not being bale to sin, ever. Really bores me. And yes we are supposed to fear Satan. OOOO the devil. But doesnt the teachings of the church say that Satan is still on earth spreading sin? (Not even mentioning the fact that jesus was supposed to return 30 years after he died and save us from Satan. or am i wrong?) So, Heres the dealio. Im supposed to fear hell cause satan will torture me in hell. But satan is on earth. Why do i fear hell again? Its warm. I like sinning. YAYY. so truely i just dont understand any of it. It just confuses me. And im supposed to be sleeping. But this is what was running through my head. SO i rant. and sleep now.
yeaaaahhh.

Am i actually going to properly blog? HOLY SHIT

Love is madness. Its all bullshit. Like really. Who knows what love really is. No one does. But how else do we all describe this feeling? We all feel it eventually. And if not well then i pray to allah for you. But truely if i think it through i dont really believe in love. Like dont take that the wrong way. I do. But mostly i believe in happiness. We all want to be happy. And love is just another factor in happiness that we have all made up and squished into our heads. And it makes no sense. Buts its always there. And we all want it. Wed kill for it. Die for it. And it makes absolutely no sense. What does that tell you about the human mind? Were all idiotic thats what. But that is ok. Cause i love being happy. And i love love. WOOP WOOP.

"Now is he interesting or do you think he'd bore us"
I love Lily Allen.
but shes right.

Would you please take me away from this place
I cannot bear to see the look upon your faces
And if there is some kind of god do you think he's pleased
When he looks down on us I wonder what he sees
Do you think he'd think the things we do are a waste of time
Maybe he'd think we are getting on just fine
Do you think he's skint or financially secure
And come election time I wonder who he'd vote for

Ever since he can remember people have died in his good name
Long before that September
Long before hijacking planesHe's lost the will he can't decide
He doesn't know who's right or wrong
But there's one thing that he's sure of this has been going on too long

Do you think he'd drive in his car without insurance
Now is he interesting or do you think he'd bore us
Do you think his favourite type of human is caucasianDo you reckon he's ever been done for tax evasion
Do you think he's any good at remembering people's names
Do you think he's ever taken smack or cocaine
I don't imagine he's ever been suicidal
His favourite band is Creedence Clearwater Revival

Ever since he can remember people have died in his good name
Long before that September
Long before hijacking planes
He's lost the will he can't decideHe doesn't know who's right or wrong
But there's one thing that he's sure of this has been going on too long

Ever since he can remember people have died in his good name
Long before that September
Long before hijacking planes
He's lost the will he can't decide
He doesn't know who's right or wrong
But there's one thing that he's sure of this has been going on too long

I dont know how this is getting back into my mind. But its always there. And its stupid. I dont want to have anything against religion. But there are certain things that have happened in my life that kinda have pushed me in that direction. And dont get me wrong i will support anyones views. But really. I do think god would bore me. If hes anything like my childhood religion classes then i would be bound to get into a heated argument with him about anything from womens rights to his problems with the superiority complex.




Speaking of which. What do you kids have against communism. Yes i know its never works out properly. And truely its just socialism. BUT WHATEVER! it seemed to work in Cuba. Anything that can make an entire country so happy cant possibly be that bad. And yes i know it would work for us. Especially at this point in our development. But.........whatever. Go to cuba. its rad.

and on that note.

"Can you believe this shit? I guess hell froze over. ... a lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. So, all I can say is, 'suck it, Jesus.' This award is my god now."

HAH.
yeah youre hot.

Have you seen it!? Its great! Theyve got stuff!

YOUR MOM
sorry
you know what i like?
HA
no you dont
WHY DOESNT MY BLOG MAKE ANY SENSE?!!?!?!?
im not sure why amanda
oh good amanda
....godddammnnn
ok
yeah fun
i dont know why i update this especially since it makes no sense at all ever
EVER
and i say this in every post
but DO you know what i like
i like this
HA your still confused
goood
HA
byee :)

'Cause I just wanted I just wanna say Baby I believe .

Jonathan just moved my couch in its entirety.
...and is rubbing elizabeth... :D
YAYAYA
ahahaha
ummmm
so i realize that my blog really makes no sense at all
OO PHONE
jonathan is dumb and wont give me my phone.......
OK
im going to make sense!
today i awoke to a very angry mother
(IM ACTUALLY GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT MY DAY)
she wantedme to clean
and i did clean
BECAUSE LIZ IS STAYING HERE ALL WEEKEND
YAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYA
now my bedroom is uber clean
just for liz
they are being flirty....ewww
paul is so idiotic
LIKE REALLY
hmmm
we went to dq for lunch
and ate nom
and creeped
then we went to shoppers
and bought fake tan and perrrty lipstick
JONATHAN IS SINGING!
looove
anywho
then we went to the library and creeped some more
and i read some modern age religious books
YAYAYA
about Christianity
and jewssss
and it was very interesting
annnnd some old chick was hitting on jonathan
and we laughed at her
and then when we were not laughing at her
she was like "what? are you guys laughing at me or something?"
and were like "shhhwaaaattttttt?"
i love jamie. :)
MUSE
hmmm
yeah
then i stole aunty nens jacket
jamie is tickling me :)
JONATHAN IS STRIPPING
hello :)
hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahhahahaha!
i like his tummy
and his bum
i hope he doesnt take any of this seriously
im such a creeeeper
i see jonathans underwear
not that i havnt seen it before
i love the musical :)
DUDE!
tim still reads my blog?
i thought he hated me
IM SORRY TIM
ummmmmm like really
and want kool aid
paul is romping
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
SITNKY BOY
i love jonathan......
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
my blog fails so bad because its just stream of consciousness
STEVEN MCCOLL GOT IN MY PANTS!?!?!??!
WHAT!?!?!??!!
since when?
apparently so though
cool cool
i should go get ready for gala
WHICH IM NOT IN
AUGH
sorry :)
i love you world.


oh. ps.
liz is sexy!
pps. so is jonathan
ppps. im joking around
im not actually in love with jonathan :)
pppps. he is really rad though
ppppps. i should stop talking. :)

ZABOOOOMAFOOOOO! (:

:D
that is all that necessary
i dunno
i like being happy though
i really miss the days when i had some form of time to
and actually did blog
and actually made sense
only not at all
cause i dont do thatt ever...ever
im so lame
all the time
hmmm
i dont really want to blog very much right now
i need to find some good lyrics to name this blog
ituuunes
nvm
much better title
i should...AHHHH
CHANGE MUSIC NOW
yay! for flaming lips
and wayne cohen
:D
im gonna stop this now
its so slow
hahahahha
imm sorry for being boring :(
muahha

if you love me wont you let me know.

Im gonna write a real post now.
and not be entirely lame
woohoooh on life right abotu now
had a rad weekend
shall have a a grand week
cause i love music festival!!! YURRSH
and life...
and hikes...
and ma friends..
AND GLEEEEEE
yusss
im sorry
just yeah
i want to watch glee right now.... for no specific reasons
did i not promise this blog would never get personal
yupp yupp yupp
so it wont
so i deffo have a dance tmmrw
i get to be kermit the frog yeahh thats right
and im nervous for wednesday
i have interpretation
....................................
FEAR
a lot of FEEEAAAAARRRRRRRRR
lord
I LOVE MY LIFE
goddamn
:D
im lame
i am just gonna continue in this circle
cause me being excited makes me feel lame
no excitement for panda
lalalalalallalalalal
just skipping
and lost of hickes
yayyy
and gleee
YURSH
godamn

i am lame

I have problems.

i want swings

:)

YAYYYYYYYY. thats all i have to say.

Je suis pathétique.

bumm dee bummm
so here i am
sitting at home alone
bumm dee bummm
no one to talk to
no one
except my books
books are my friends
books are my lurves
im gonna marry a book
specifically this one
im not sure who would write this
BUT it sounds amazing
truely
muahaha
tennillle come home!!!
lizard come home!!!
hunneh...youre home but you ar with man friend
lame
i want books now
immature drama is a win
oh yeah!!
so once again i have decided to stop being a bitch
happiness and love
they are hand in hand
so i must love all!!!!!!!!!!!!
there you have it.
well there may be some exceptions.... no
bad panda
love them ALL

I want you to want me.

Dear small screaming girls across the street, im not sure why you are finding entertainment in screaming in the bushes....but it is fairly annoying. It also makes me worry.....are you being raped? molested? abused in any form? this is a serious matter. i am tempted to phone the police just because those horiffic screams make me worry for your well being. The number is 911. fyi. and if my guess is wrong? well then hallucination is usually not a good thing and you should get off any drug you are currently consuming. Good Day. :)

that was my latest status update. ONLY NOT!
ughhh
im was like 100 words over the maximum i mean whats with that???
i just wanted to vent
drunk LGs girls are annoying
i mean...theyre not even old enough to make good decisions
...obviously
like come on ... one of them is dating my brother
where is the good decision in that?
no im kidding
he good boy
hahahha
i dunno why they all want to grow up so quickly
its stupidio
like i can understand getting drunk once or twice
like come on
everyone loves it so much you gotta get curious
but getting hammered every weekend because it will make you "cool"
oooh yeah
everyone will like me when im pissed
oh yeah....why did you want them to like you again?
hmmm
it makes me mad
cause they are all so small and theyre just going to ruin their lives
and there is nothing i can do about it
aughhh
hmmmmm
whatever

Somethin' filled up
my heart with nothin',
someone told me not to cry.

But now that I'm older,
my heart's colder,
and I can see that it's a lie.

Children wake up,
hold your mistake up,
before they turn the summer into dust.

If the children don't grow up,
our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.
We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms turnin' every good thing to
rust.

I guess we'll just have to adjust.

L

The greatest pain that comes from love is loving someone you can never have.

Durkkkk.
god.
hmmm. sigh.
i know i am a failure.
its seriously been like 2 months
i know tis horrible.
i want icecream.
i pretty much dont know what to do with my life anymore.
well i know what i want to do.
BUT its not gonna happen.
so i just stare at my wall and such.
and durk your mom
and yeah.
never sleep
and pee
like right now
...
so like an hour later i am returning with an emptier bladder
a fuller tummy
a bowl of icecream
my cellular device
and a happier mood
good good
did you know that blogging often makes me sad
cause it makes me think about my life
hahaha that sounded awfully sad and over dramatic
i didnt mean it like that though
i just google searched myself
im like the 3rd one
win
i love twitter
but if you add terrace
the im the first 3
cause its all like YOU ARE AN ENTREPRENEUR
its a win
i just read the article....why? im not so sure
hahaha
im stoked for the summer
i like it
its fun
i get to make hotdogs
IF WE CAN GET OUR FRICKEN FOODSAFE!
rarr
i should talk to mrs c about that
....woohoo
im so excited to talk to her...just in general
i hope you caught that sarcasm
i love it when she secretly talks bad abou tmy friends
and then insults me but comes up with some bullshit comments that makes it sound better
and how often she contradicts herself
and how often i just want to kill her
i also want to kill him right now
just cause then hell be dead
and i wont have to think about it
yupppp
it is a good way to solve this situation
i dont want to go to jazz
at alll
its lame
i like it
but i suck
so now its just like ruining my self confidence
and i dont have like any solos
god i miss my old tone
sweeet allah
guess what guys? im going to hell.
i really like mint chocolate chip icecream
i dont know if i mentioned that before
but it is my favorite
i dont want to put away laundry
i watched dracual today
it was amazing
i love gore
and your mother
and the love story was just obscene
infatuation can go die
it just causes problems
and regrets
ahhhhh
jesus
maybe i should go to bed
its good for me
and i i have to logg my sleeping hours for planning
(aka you might have crappy parents so im gonna teach you this class)
and it might be better to you know...actually get sleep for a couple days
so mrs c doesnt start using me as a bad example
it would be sad
my icecream is gone
so am i?
toodles
yes i know
once again
jusst
torture?



i

Crazy cat woman

im sorry for never ever blogging
im just
lame
truly
hahahahah
im busy
but yus
i want an ipad
but really....not at all
theyre huge
whats the point
its like a laptop that can break waaay to easily
and costs 800 bucks
or 400
but yeah
depends
hahahha i have te pee and im going to skyoe lizzabeth.... maybeh
oh yeah
Happy fucking valentines. :)
sorry that was usnescesary
i guess i just dont really believe in valentines day
isnt love complecated enough as it is??