Thursday, June 3, 2010

I'm sorry.

Yupp. I am a douche bag. I really suck at thinking about other peoples feelings sometimes. Ive tried to fix that. But i just fail. Im strong minded and entirely open about my opinions....even when my opinions hurt people i care about. But i never meant to hurt anyone. I talk to much and im generally over confident which would make my opinion even more annoying. I almost feel i should delete this blog just because i know its not helping me. My goal to not post anything to personal has failed me. Im sure some of you have guessed my point. So im just going to get there. I do not have a problem with anyone who believes in or follows any religion. I realize that this may have been (and by may i mean entirely was) what it seemed like. I had some pretty out there posts. But i never meant them to seem like i had a problem with anyone religious or likewise. I entirely support religion and find it incredibly interesting to learn about. (which is pretty much the point of those posts) Religion is just not something i understand or want to pursue personally. My mind cant accept it. But if yours does i have nothing against it. Ive tried to bring it into my life countless times but its just not me. I realize it would probably lead to me becoming a better person and to me embracing a part of me that could do great things. But once again i say. its just not who i am. and thats why im apologizing. Im apologizing because im sorry that words i wrote hurt you and changed your opinion of me and because im sorry that i cant learn to be the better person you see me being. But im ready to fully accept you and im sorry that i was too hurt to see the stupidity in myself. Truly id just like to sit down and have a conversation with you. But i dont see that ever being something you want to do. I cant believe i ever let something get between me and a friend i truly care about. I dont even know why im writing this. Cause once again its 2 in the morning and i seem to regret posts i write when im supposed to be sleeping. But its something that needs to be said cause i dont know if i can deal with this any longer. Even though i know i have brought this on myself... This post didnt need to be that long... pretty much my point is i miss having you around.

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